I'll admit, even before the pandemic hit, I was pretty loose about my child's screen time interactions. As a full-time working mom, my son got a lot of screen-free play at day care, so when he vegged out in the morning with a little Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, I couldn't care less.
But since March 2020, screen time went from a luxury to a daily part of survival in my home, and in many homes across the country. Recently The New York Times delved into the serious complications the "rampant" screen time exposure our kids could have long term.
And while it is important to know, frankly, from the bottom of my heart, I don't care.
In the well-written and well-rounded article, the NYT warns that once this mess is over, experts have concerns about children returning to normal life without the aid of screens.
"What concerns researchers, at a minimum, is that the use of devices is a poor substitute for activities known to be central to health, social and physical development, including physical play and other interactions that help children learn how to confront challenging social situations," the article said.
It doesn't take a degree in psychology to have this worry; we as parents feel it every day. I worry especially for my 2-year-old, who has had such a small amount of time developing socially, and will be thrust back into day care as soon as I feel safe enough to do it. Believe me.
While this might very well make me a garbage parent, Imma say it anyway: Right now, I genuinely don't care.
Because the truth is, we will deal with it when it arises. Right now, screen time is the literal only way we are getting through our days. Without a second thought, I hand my child my phone queued up with YouTube Kids and let him scroll away while I shower, cook dinner, and work.
What other choice do I really have?
This March, it will be one year since my child has played with another kid.
I'm absolutely devastated by this, and ultimately, really scared. How will he react around other kids? What habits did we form in lockdown that will take forever to untrain? They are all legitimate concerns, but in my opinion, best dealt with at a later time.
Frankly, it's all about survival in the literal and metaphorical sense.
As we have officially marked over 400,000 COVID-19 related deaths in the US alone, and we're nowhere truly near done with quarantining. Being in lockdown has kicked about every parent's butt. From the managing a work life balance, to overseeing virtual school, to keeping everyone as safe as possible with very little economic or governmental support, parents have done the impossible.
If copious amounts of screen time are the worst side effects from this year, I'm considering it a win.
I have been pushed to my limits as a parent this year. I love my child with my whole heart, but I cannot pretend like being in his company while maintaining a home and working full time has been easy. That little screen has saved my butt more times than I can count, and I refuse to apologize for it.
The truth is, kids are adaptable. While that of course doesn't give parents carte blanche to act without consequences, it does mean the small survival mode decisions like too much screen time in the grand scheme likely won't equate a lifetime of suffering. We get outside, we play pretend and make dinner, but ultimately the screen is our buffer and while it is more than I'd like, I also feel like it's going to be OK.
While it is certainly important to know the "consequences" and challenges that lie ahead after a year of isolation, it doesn't get you through the reality now. Do what you have to do to survive that keeps your family as happy and safe as possible.
Your best is good enough, mama.
