Having kids today is a lot different than when our parents had kids and were raising our generation. Before, life was a magical, glorious, and pretty much device-free place where kids went outside and played in the street when they had free time. Our parents had little worries about what could possibly go wrong online.
Today, there are so many things for parents to worry about, far different than the things our parents even thought of. With the internet and social media becoming a predominent factor in everyone's life, it's no surprise that even the youngest of children are getting involved in online games and networking.
Recently, my 8-year-old daughter approached my husband and I and asked if she could download Roblox, an online game where children and users can build their own games and universes and play with others. At first, we were unsure — the world "online" can be rather scary and dangerous for kids at that age. But, on the other hand, we didn't want our daughter to feel as though she was being sheltered and held back by her parents when her friends were able to play games freely.
So instead of telling her "absolutely not," I decided to sit down and do some research on safeguarding and protecting kids when using online games.
First, my husband and I spoke to her about safety online.
Before we allowed our 8-year-old to play the games all of her friends were playing, we sat her down and talked to her about online safety. We explained that some games have users that also play online. We made sure she understood that she can play the games on the apps of her choice but that she has to be very careful when it comes to multi-user games. In addition, we explained that both her father and I would monitor her use and have access to her iPad at all times.
My husband and I then read up on the games and apps she was interested in.
Clearly, our daughter wanted to play games that her friends were playing, but neither myself nor my husband really knew much about them, so we did a little research. First, we started with the game/app's website itself. Then we read blogs and even consulted Reddit to learn more about how the games work, their purpose, and what content is included. Some online games can have some seriously inappropriate content, so we wanted to know what we were in store for and what our daughter would be exposed to.
Then I went into the apps and set clear parental controls.
During our research, many people talked about parental controls and how to set them up.
On some apps, there is a "chat" function or even the possibility that "everyne" who plays on the app can have access to our daughter's builds and homes. We first set very harsh parental controls on the apps by going into the settings and turning off all chat and messaging functions.
In reality, our daughter isn't interested in the games to "chat" with people but to play the game itself. Because she's 8 years old, we really see no need for her to use them. We also set a "parental control pin" so we are the only ones who can edit and alter the settings and privacy.
We also set up her accounts through my email address.
With many apps and games, an email account has to be associated with the profile. We chose to set it up with my personal email so that any notifications would come directly to me. This allows me to have control over her usage and to see what she is doing on the apps and the games. If any problems arise or changes are made, it will come to my inbox.
Additionally, we made sure no credit cards were linked to any accounts.
We've all heard the horror stories of kids spending hundreds of dollars on their iPad games without their parents' knowledge or consent. On games like Roblox, you can actually set a "spend cap" or limit on how much your children can spend or use. We set it to $0.
In addition, we looked at her other games and apps to see that no credit card was linked up to any of her accounts so there was no possibility of her going on a shopping spree for extra lives.
Last but not least, we set time limits.
On our daughter's iPad, she gets a certain amount of time per day. But aside from her usual time limits on her iPad itself, we also set specific timers on the apps she uses. During the week, we set timers for an hour at most. On the weekend and vacations, we allow a bit more time.
And of course, there are always circumstances when using her iPad can be a great help (like when I had to drag her along for a root canal and she had to wait in the waiting room). Overall, however, we ensure she isn't invested in her apps and games for too long.
