My Daughter Went to a Sleepover & Found Security Cameras in Friend’s Bedroom — I’m Disgusted

The mom explained in her post that her 11-year-old daughter and another female friend went to a friend’s house for a sleepover. It was the first time any of the girls had participated in a sleepover.

“She told me that there were ‘security cameras’ in her friend’s room. When asked about it, she was told by the parents that they were for security purposes and that they were ‘turned off,'” the woman wrote. “My daughter could tell they were still on because the light was still on, so she placed a shirt over them,” she said, adding that according to her daughter, a parent “came into the room, removed the shirt, didn’t say anything and left.”

She added that although her daughter didn’t change in the room, her friend did. The daughter texted to be picked up, and the mom went immediately. “I feel absolutely disgusted right now and do not know what to do about this,” the mom shared.

The woman wrote that “the mom is a respected member of the community and is involved in the school system,” which could cause potential friction.

“My daughter felt like their house was a ‘kidnappers’ house and I have never been more proud of her for following her gut, but also terrified,” the mom shared in her post. “I feel like i have a responsibility to do something about this, at least let the other mom know… but from past experiences I know things like this are not easy and there are a lot of people who would rather just turn a blind eye.”

“Tell all involved parents. Talk to the police too, as this is stinks of child p*rn. Yes, the police. Not child protection,” someone suggested.

“I would call CPS and the cops. I wouldn’t mention it to the other parent until after you’ve done so. You risk them getting tipped off,” another person pointed out.

“So, they recorded one of the under aged girls changing clothes and you are confused about what to do? Call the police. This isn’t hard. They produced child pornography,” someone else wrote.

“What’s the point of bringing it up to the parents? If it’s nefarious they’re just going to lie, and probably lie well,” another person commented. “And at that point then you’re just deciding if u believe them or not, which is a JOB FOR THE POLICE not for you. Plus if you bring it up, they could remove it before police get there and destroy any evidence.”

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“I would reach out to the parents first. Have a private conversation, parent to parent, about why they need these cameras. Are they paranoid about security, was there some kind of incident in the past, who knows?” one person suggested. “There is probably a reasonable (to them) explanation. It’s not like the cameras were hidden. That doesn’t mean you have to be comfortable with it but start by asking the question.”

“I don’t know that I would necessarily jump to something nefarious especially since the cameras weren’t hidden or in the bathroom. Could just be helicopter parents that still have monitors in their kids’ rooms,” someone else commented. “Which is weird and over-the-top, but not necessarily like ‘you need to do something about it’ level. Some people, unfortunately, don’t give their kids any privacy under the guise of ‘my house, my rules.'”

“Sounds like helicopter parents to me who are paranoid but I don’t know the reason and you don’t either. So you can tell the mom it made you uncomfortable and why then maybe you’ll find out the reason why she has them. Otherwise, you really don’t need to be so distraught over this because you have next to zero info,” a third person chimed in.

The mom explained that she ended up reaching out to the parent of the other friend who attended the sleepover. That parent planned to talk to their daughter to get more information. The original poster then decided to reach out to the mom who hosted the sleepover to share her concerns.

“She said it’s inactive and not used to watch anyone and that she didn’t even think about how it would come off to other people because it’s just always been there. –this is the very first sleepover her daughter has had and apologized for making mine feel uncomfortable,” the mom explained in the update.

She shared that the sleepover mom wished the original poster’s daughter would have said something about being uncomfortable because she could have used another room.

“I mentioned how she did ask about the cameras and how she covered them off and said the mom came back in and uncovered them. Mom denied this and said they just have fallen off because she didn’t do that. -mom was very apologetic and respectful and was not defensive or dismissive. -given the information that I have, I am comfortable with the choices I have made,” she wrote.

In the end, she was happy with how she addressed what happened.

“I think I have done my part and I feel somewhat okay about the situation,” she wrote in the update. “This was a learning experience for everyone and we have talked quite in depth about this as a whole family.”