Living in a blended family can be a fulfilling experience, but it's not always easy. There are bound to be disagreements over rules, perceived "favorites," and traditions. Unfortunately, stepparents can sometimes cross a line with how they treat "their" kids versus "our" kids — and if parents go along with this preferential treatment, it can have serious consequences.
A Reddit user found this out the hard way. Recently, a woman recounted a tricky situation involving asking her stepson, who has a physical disability, to hide it from her son because it scares him. The mom/stepmom now faces backlash from her stepkids and their mom and wonders if she's an a–hole.
More from CafeMom: Stepmom Furious After Her Husband's Sons Claim She's 'Not Their Mother'
The original poster started by introducing her family dynamic, including a stepson who lost an eye.
The woman, 38, is married to a man with two kids from his previous marriage, and they share a 5-year-old son named "Mike," she shared in her post on Reddit's Am I the A–hole forum. Although her husband's oldest son does not live with them, his younger son, "Milo," does part time.
"Two years ago Milo was in an accident and he had to have his eye removed," the Reddit user explained. "He refuses to wear a fake one or an eyepatch for some reason and just has it covered with his hair."
Mike is deeply upset by the missing eye.
The OP wrote that she feels "bad" for Milo because of his disability and has "been nothing but accommodating to his needs." She added, "However it is quite an unsettling sight. His eye doesn’t close fully and it creates the illusion that he is constantly staring/watching us."
Unfortunately, OP's son, Mike, has had a difficult time coping with Milo's appearance.
"He often gets scared because he thinks Milo is watching him even when he doesn’t," she explained. "Mike is a very nervous and sensitive child, he is suspected to be on the spectrum."
More from CafeMom: Wife Refuses To End Family Tradition Excluding 1 Kid & Now It's Causing Body Image Issues
She and her husband 'politely' asked Milo to cover up his eye with a patch when he is with them.
The mom said she spoke with her husband about Milo's physical disability causing Mike to have a meltdown.
"My husband politely took Milo aside and explained that Mike is scared of his empty eye and that he should cover it up when he comes over," she wrote. "Milo was very upset and complained to his mother."
Now, her stepkids and their mom are angry.
Milo's mother is upset, and the OP's husband's oldest son called and "screamed" at his dad over their request to have Milo hide his disability.
"I now feel bad for upsetting Milo and for creating drama between my husband and his oldest son," the OP concluded. "Things were not very peaceful between them even before and now it’s getting worse. Please give your opinions."
The verdict: She's the jerk.
In the thread, users resoundingly called out the woman for her questionable actions, writing YTA, or you're the a–hole.
As one person pointed out, "Mike feeling uncomfortable about Milo's disability is Mike's problem, not Milo's. Milo does not need to hide his disability to coddle other peoples' feelings. He should not have to feel ashamed of it. This should be a teaching moment for Mike."
Another user agreed. "Sometimes disabilities are disturbing. That's a reality of life and you can't ask people to hide them for convenience. If it were something else than an eye, and little Mike were disturbed by, I don't know, a missing arm, how far would you go into telling Milo to hide his body?"
The person added, "In this case, you're asking a teenager to hide his entire face more than he already does behind his hair. In his own home!"
"PARENT YOUR CHILD. You need to teach Mike that there are all different types of people in the world, and that he will sometimes see things that make him uncomfortable," another commenter scolded. "He's going to have to learn to live with it. Forcing someone else to be uncomfortable because you won't take the time to explain to Mike about physical differences is abelist and lazy."
What do you think about this situation?
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
