There are numerous paths to motherhood. Making the decision to raise and nourish a child every day is mothering. Itâs beautiful work. But it is challenging. And regardless of the path that led a person to motherhood, that work and the sacrifice deserve to be honored.
Yet, far too often people shame and dismiss all types of mothers for sharing their experiences. One mother who is raising a daughter she adopted shared the way people attempted to diminish her experience.Â
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Kendall Mariah shared her '17 diapers' story.
Hannah Bhiatt started a social media trend when she shared the number of dirty diapers she had lying around her house at the end of a day of solo parenting a toddler and a newborn.
While some shamed her for the state of her home and the disorganization, others sympathized and shared their own postpartum stories. And so, the ’17 diapers’ trend began. Recently, Kendall Mariah, a mother by way of adoption, shared her 17 diapers postpartum story.
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Kendall began her motherhood journey while her husband was deployed.
On Instagram, Kendall wrote: âMy 17 diapers was how everyone expected me to act like life was normal when my husband deployed and our baby girl we had just adopted was 5 weeks old.â During a huge life change, Kendall was alone, adjusting to being a mother to a newborn. Sadly she was met with a lack of empathy.
âI was hundreds of miles from family as a first time mom, President of a non-profit, and running a business alone,â Kendall continued. âBut I was told I couldnât complain because this was everything I ever wanted.â
On top of being a new mom, Kendall's daughter required emergency surgery.
People told Kendall that she couldnât have postpartum anxiety or depression because she had not been pregnant. Then, during an already stressful time, Kendallâs daughter had to have emergency surgery at 14 weeks old and during a national lockdown. Obviously, the whole thing was traumatic.
In the caption for the post, Kendall explained just how much it affected her. âThe only ‘memories’ I have of that season are from the videos I posted on here, everything else is blacked out. My mind wanted to forget but my body couldnât,” she wrote.
Eventually, Kendall had a meltdown.
Eventually, Kendall had a meltdown when she was unable to perform a mundane task sheâd completed a thousand times before. âI saw my doc the next day, finally decided to take medicine for my ADHD. It didnât cure the stress and trauma but it slowed my brain down enough I could sleep, function and begin to heal.â
In retrospect, Kendall said she wished she had been more transparent during that time. âNext time, I pray I am aware enough to know when I am drowning and brave enough to ask/accept help,â she concluded.
Certainly a message all manner of mothers could stand to hear.
